Reconciliation

Confession is a common name for the Sacrament of Reconciliation. The word 'Reconciliation' comes from the Latin root words meaning "To come back together" or more literally "To be eyelash to eyelash again."  The very name of the Sacrament tells us that it is an act not simply of us verbalizing our faults and failings but rather an opportunity for healing in our relationships, especially with God.

"Sin is before all else an offense against God, a rupture of communion with him. At the same time it damages communion with the Church. For this reason conversion entails both God's forgiveness and reconciliation with the Church, which are expressed and accomplished liturgically by the sacrament of Penance and Reconciliation." (CCC 1440) In reconciliation we go to the priest who acts in persona christi (In the person of Christ) and as a representative of the Church community and seek forgiveness from both God and our fellow man.

Jesus said to them again, “Peace be with you. As the Father has sent me, even so I send you.” And when he had said this, he breathed on them, and said to them, “Receive the Holy Spirit. If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven; if you retain the sins of any, they are retained.”

Another reason is that all sin damages three types of relationships. Our relationship with God, our relationship with others, and our relationship with ourselves. In this way, Christ is present in His priest, the priest also represents the community, and we ourselves are present to seek healing and forgiveness in each relationship.

The Sacrament of Reconciliation finds its roots in and is highly supported by scripture. Here are just a few examples:

^{21 "}Again Jesus said, “Peace be with you! As the Father has sent me, I am sending you.” ²² And with that he breathed on them and said, “Receive the Holy Spirit. ²³ If you forgive anyone’s sins, their sins are forgiven; if you do not forgive them, they are not forgiven.”" - (John 20: 21-23)


^{17 "}Jesus said to him in reply, “Blessed are you, Simon son of Jonah. For flesh and blood has not revealed this to you, but my heavenly Father. ¹⁸ And so I say to you, you are Peter, and upon this rock I will build my church, and the gates of the netherworld shall not prevail against it. ¹⁹ I will give you the keys to the kingdom of heaven. Whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven; and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven.”" (Matthew 16: 17-19)

 

^{10 "}To whom ye forgive anything, I forgive also; for if I forgave anything, to whom I forgave it, I forgave it for your sakes in the person of Christ, ¹¹ lest Satan should get an advantage over us. For we are not ignorant of his devices." (2 Corinthians 2: 10)


^{14 "}Is anyone among you sick? He should summon the presbyters of the church, and they should pray over him and anoint [him] with oil in the name of the Lord, ¹⁵ and the prayer of faith will save the sick person, and the Lord will raise him up. If he has committed any sins, he will be forgiven. ¹⁶ Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The fervent prayer of a righteous person is very powerful." (James 5:14-16)

Per the Pontifical Council for Social Communications 2002, letter entitled "The Church and Internet",

"Virtual reality is no substitute for the Real Presence of Christ in the Eucharist, the sacramental reality of the other sacraments, and shared worship in a flesh-and-blood human community. There are no sacraments on the Internet; and even the religious experiences possible there by the grace of God are insufficient apart from real-world interaction with other persons of faith." (9, The Church and Internet, 2002)

Because reception of the Sacraments implies communion with the Church--the body of Christ, only baptized Catholics may receive the Sacrament of Reconciliation. Though non-Catholics cannot receive the Sacrament itself, all are welcome to speak with a priest to seek spiritual guidance.

In some very rare and extreme circumstances, some Sacraments, including Reconciliation, may be given to Christians not in full communion with the Church.

"When, in the Ordinary's judgment, a grave necessity arises, Catholic ministers may give the sacraments of Eucharist, Penance, and Anointing of the Sick to other Christians not in full communion with the Catholic Church, who ask for them of their own will, provided they give evidence of holding the Catholic faith regarding these sacraments and possess the required dispositions." (CCC 1401

First off, welcome back! We are so glad that you have decided to seek healing through the Sacrament of Reconciliation. It's important to remember that the priest is there to help you, and if you ever feel stuck or unsure of what to say he will be there to guide you.

With that being said, preparing for confession begins long before you enter the confessional. In order to receive forgiveness, we need to have contrition for our sins, and in order to do that well we should take time to examine our conscience and call to mind our sins. Some people will use an examination of Conscience (See attached) or write down their sins so that they don't forget any.

In the confessional, the priest will begin with a short prayer and you will begin by making the sign of the cross.

"In the name of the Father, and of the son, and of the Holy Spirit. Forgive me father, (or 'Bless me father') for I have sinned, it has been ___________ (estimate how long) since my last confession.

By giving the priest a time frame it helps him to understand the frequency of our sins which helps him pin point what spiritual guidance would be most fitting for you a that time. At that time, you begin to name your sins in number and kind, starting with your mortal sins. This is not a time to explain the backstory or reason for your sin, but to simply say what sin was committed and approximately how many times you committed each since your last confession. 

After you have confessed all mortal sins, the priest will offer spiritual guidance to help you where you are and to guide you away from committing those sins in the future. Then he will give you a penance. Keep in mind that a penance is not a "punishment" but rather is an act to help us establish virtue in our lives to combat our tendency to sin.

The priest will then ask you to say an Act of Contrition. (See below)

Listen to the words of absolution and end with the sign of the cross.

Following confession, say a prayer of Thanksgiving and do your penance.

It is often helpful to examine your conscience regularly, even daily to call to mind not only your sins, but the way that you have served God well. This helps us more easily call to mind our sins when whe go to confession. There are many ways to examine our conscience but it is important to start by asking for God’s help and prayerfully examining one’s actions in the light of Christ’s teaching and example.

Some review their behavior by the Ten Commandments, others by Christ’s command to love God and love others, others by their correspondence to the beatitudes, others by comparing their behavior to the most important Christian virtues, and others by the seven “capital” sins (pride, envy, anger, sloth, greed, lust and gluttony). It is not enough merely to focus on how we have broken God’s “rules,” but rather how we have damaged our relationship with God and others and hurt ourselves interiorly. It is also important to examine for sins of omission.

There are many guides to examining our conscience which may be used to prepare for the Sacrament of Reconciliation. A few have been added to the documents section of this page.

A priest can never reveal the sins a person has confessed. This is known as the “Seal of confession,” which admits of no exceptions (CCC 1467). If a priest were to violate the seal of confession he would be automatically excommunicated (CIC 1388). Over the centuries several priests have died and many have been imprisoned because they refused, even under threat of torture and execution, to break the inviolable seal of confession. This is one of the most beautiful aspects of the sacrament and of the priesthood: the priest who hears our confession, in order to protect the secrets we have whispered to God through him, will allow himself to be imprisoned, tortured or even killed. That’s how seriously he and the Church take the seal and the sacrament.

To better understand the answer to this question we should first ask what "sin" is. Sin actually means to "miss the mark" specifically missing the mark of what we were created for; love. 

A mortal sin involves an action whose object is grave matter that is committed with full knowledge and deliberate consent. Grave matter is generally understood to be something that violates the Ten Commandments. Full knowledge means that one is aware that God or the Church he founded considers the act sinful (even if one doesn’t totally understand why it is sinful). Deliberate consent means a consent sufficiently intentional to be a personal choice (CCC 1857-1859).

“One commits venial sin when, in a less serious matter, he does not observe the standard prescribed by the moral law, or when he disobeys the moral law in a grave manner, but without full knowledge or without complete consent. Venial sin weakens charity; it manifests a disordered affection for created goods; it impedes the soul’s progress in the exercise of the virtues and the practice of the moral good; it merits temporal punishment. Deliberate and unrepented venial sin disposes us little by little to commit mortal sin. However venial sin does not set us in direct opposition to the will and friendship of God; it does not break the covenant with God. With God’s grace it is humanly reparable” (CCC 1862-1863).

If you are conscious of having committed a mortal sin, then, yes, you must first go to receive Jesus’ forgiveness in the Sacrament of Penance and be restored by Him to loving communion before you can come to receive Him in Holy Communion. The reason why young children must receive the Sacrament of Penance before first Holy Communion is to ensure that they have cleaned their inner “temples” to receive the greatest Guest of all. The same principal applies to all of us. If one has not committed any serious sins since his or her last good confession, then it is not necessary to confess before receiving the Holy Eucharist.

There are a variety of different Acts of Contrition suggested in the Rite of Penance. Here are a few of them. 

Act of Contrition (traditional)

O my God, I am heartily sorry for having offended Thee, and I detest all my sins because of thy just punishments, but most of all because they offend Thee, my God, who art all good and deserving of all my love.

I firmly resolve with the help of Thy grace to sin no more and to avoid the near occasion of sin. Amen.

Act of Contrition (alternate form)

My God, I am sorry for my sins with all my heart. In choosing to do wrong and failing to do good, I have sinned against you whom I should love above all things. 

I firmly intend, with your help, to do penance, to sin no more, and to avoid whatever leads me to sin.

Our Savior Jesus Christ suffered and died for us. In his name, my God, have mercy.

An Act of Contrition inspired by the Gospels

Father of mercy, like the prodigal son I return to you and say: "I have sinned against you and am no longer worthy to be called your child."

Christ Jesus, Savior of the world, I pray with the repentant thief to whom you promised Paradise: "Lord, remember me in your kingdom."

Holy Spirit, fountain of love, I call on you with trust: "Purify my heart, and help me to walk as a child of light."

An Act of Contrition inspired by the Gospels

Lord Jesus, you opened the eyes of the blind, healed the sick, forgave the sinful woman, and after Peter's denial confirmed him in your love.

Listen to my prayer: forgive all my sins, renew your love in my heart, help me to live in perfect unity with my fellow Christians that I may proclaim your saving power to all the world.

An Act of Contrition to Our Lord Jesus

Lord Jesus, you chose to be called the friend of sinners. By your saving death and resurrection free me from my sins. May your peace take root in my heart and bring forth a harvest of love, holiness, and truth.

An Act of Contrition to Jesus, the Lamb of God

Lord Jesus Christ, you are the Lamb of God; you take away the sins of the world.

Through the grace of the Holy Spirit restore me to friendship with your Father, cleanse me from every stain of sin in the blood you shed for me, and raise me to new life for the glory of your name.

An Act of Contrition inspired by Psalm 51

Lord God, in your goodness have mercy on me: do not look on my sins, but take away all my guilt. Create in me a clean heart and renew within me an upright spirit.

The Jesus Prayer

Lord Jesus, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner.